03/05/2025

No me gusta estar castigado :*

No sé. Extraño fumar. Extraño no pensar en. Quiero un boro. Quiero no querer un boro. Intento leer pero no puedo concentrarme. Intento escribir pero nada, pienso Isa, Juli, Vivi. Maybe Milli Otra vez.

Quiero volver a tocar la guitarra. Que suene mal. No sé.

Conclusions/questions I came to

I probably dont have liver disease, maybe a weak liver generally but somebody who had liver disease probably wouldnt feel good running

I have all of the time in the world to dress like a 60-year-old french woman, go to the farmers market, do yoga in the park, order water instead of alcohol, turn down invitations to parties because i have work the next day. Likeim. Youre allowed to be kind of bad and generally a shitty person with an overwhelming amount of laundry to do. Like I should probably focus on being for a while. Until im 30 probably.

I have to increase my budget if I want a 2 bedroom apartment

I should make a reservation for dinner next week

it isnt normal to constantly feel cold

X

No me gusta estar castigado :*

No sé. Extraño fumar. Extraño no pensar en. Quiero un boro. Quiero no querer un boro. Intento leer pero no puedo concentrarme. Intento escribir pero nada, pienso Isa, Juli, Vivi. Maybe Milli Otra vez.

Quiero volver a tocar la guitarra. Que suene mal. No sé.

Conclusions/questions I came to

I probably dont have liver disease, maybe a weak liver generally but somebody who had liver disease probably wouldnt feel good running

I have all of the time in the world to dress like a 60-year-old french woman, go to the farmers market, do yoga in the park, order water instead of alcohol, turn down invitations to parties because i have work the next day. Likeim. Youre allowed to be kind of bad and generally a shitty person with an overwhelming amount of laundry to do. Like I should probably focus on being for a while. Until im 30 probably.

I have to increase my budget if I want a 2 bedroom apartment

I should make a reservation for dinner next week

it isnt normal to constantly feel cold

03/02/2025

I DIDN’T KNOW YOU VERY WELL, SO, I DIDN’T REALLY WANT TO, REVEAL, SO, BY NATURE, I JUST LET WHATEVER HAPPENS HAPPEN; BY NATURE, I DON’T REALLY DESIRE. IT IS A NATURAL OCCURRENCE RATHER THAN A DECISION.

but, i like it. like, really like it.

03/01/2025

A single work is eventually a contribution to a body of work; the details of a life form part of a life history; an individual life history appears unintelligible apart from social, economic, and cultural history; and the life of a society is the sum of “preceding conditions.” meaning drowns in a stream of becoming: the senseless and overdocumented rhythm of advent and super-session. the becoming of man is the history of the exhaustion of his possibilities.

passage fm sontag, essay sent to me by ash; theory that human consciousness and perception of reality, post french revolution, exists with the self-awareness of its own relevance with regard to history. “trying to make history,” as a concept birthed; forever attuned to the way one proceeds with existence. informing decisions, what will be the best puzzle piece i can contribute to the infinite documentation of history???? anyways, maybe i’m wrong, with interpreting,

anyways,

X

A single work is eventually a contribution to a body of work; the details of a life form part of a life history; an individual life history appears unintelligible apart from social, economic, and cultural history; and the life of a society is the sum of “preceding conditions.” meaning drowns in a stream of becoming: the senseless and overdocumented rhythm of advent and super-session. the becoming of man is the history of the exhaustion of his possibilities.

passage fm sontag, essay sent to me by ash; theory that human consciousness and perception of reality, post french revolution, exists with the self-awareness of its own relevance with regard to history. “trying to make history,” as a concept birthed; forever attuned to the way one proceeds with existence. informing decisions, what will be the best puzzle piece i can contribute to the infinite documentation of history???? anyways, maybe i’m wrong, with interpreting,

anyways,

02/28/2025

I had an experience that left me feeling unsettled. It wasn’t what I expected—there was no real connection, and afterward, I just felt empty. I thought it would mean something, but it didn’t. Instead, it left me feeling more confused and lost than before. Later, I ended up in a car accident.

Looking back, none of it felt worth it—not the experience, not the accident, not the dishonesty that came with it. I keep reflecting on how one poor decision seemed to lead to another, and now I’m here, trying to piece it all together.

X

I had an experience that left me feeling unsettled. It wasn’t what I expected—there was no real connection, and afterward, I just felt empty. I thought it would mean something, but it didn’t. Instead, it left me feeling more confused and lost than before. Later, I ended up in a car accident.

Looking back, none of it felt worth it—not the experience, not the accident, not the dishonesty that came with it. I keep reflecting on how one poor decision seemed to lead to another, and now I’m here, trying to piece it all together.

02/24/2025

I feel bad for people who laugh at dancing or see it as something silly or embarrassing. They’re missing the point. Dancing—it’s about freedom, expression, and feeling truly alive in a way that’s hard to put into words. It’s a beautiful thing, and I wish more people could understand that.

02/17/2025

I’ve yet to meet someone who shares my exact perspective. A lot of people talk about wanting to be directors, cinematographers, or something creative, but when I see what they actually create—or don’t create—it feels like there’s a disconnect. I guess I’m just looking for something that feels more authentic.

I’d love to connect with someone who sees things the way I do, but I know that might not happen right away—and that’s okay. It’s not always easy to find people who share your perspective.

02/14/2025

X